Dear 268 Let’s talk,

I think I made the biggest mistake of my life and I am regretting every moment of it. I have been a fool. I am labeling myself as that because I am already aware that this is what people will refer to me as. I have been having a secret relationship for about 7 years.

The individual that I am seeing has his family but he told me he wants to leave. He always said to me that if we were single, we would get a place together and he would walk away from his family. He would sometimes cry blood, telling me how unhappy he was and how his wife is a nagging woman who stresses him out.

He told me that I was his comfort, his getaway from the constant drama at home. Every time he left; he tells me if only we were single. About two months ago I ended my long-term relationship, moved out, and got a small place to rent. I told the “family” man about it and he seemed excited at the time.

He comes to my apartment and stays for hours. He leaves in the wee hours of the morning but now he has a change of story about leaving his family. And three days ago, he told me straight up he cannot leave because he is tied up financially and he is worried that his girls won’t survive well without their father.

He said he still wants to continue the relationship but he honestly cannot leave his home. Should I stay with him? Was I a fool? Or should I believe his story and wait until his children are grown?

All alone.

Dear All Alone,

You cannot find happiness by making another person unhappy. This man had no intentions of leaving his family. You made him very comfortable by allowing him to leave a double life at your expense.

Now that you have ended your long-term relationship, he refuses to fulfill his “teary” promise to leave his family and be joined by you.

Your lover will not leave his family and the sooner your come to terms with that may be the better for you.

Whether you decide to remain in this relationship or not is a choice that you have to make. However, any woman with self-worth or dignity will not allow a man to play the fool with them like you have allowed this man to do to you.

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