Dear Editor,

Have my younger sisters lost their minds?

Recently, I had the opportunity to listen in on a conversation among some of my younger female colleagues. Because we’re considerably years apart in age, the topics we discuss tend to differ, so I’ve never really spoken with them about this particular issue. As a married woman with four adult children, and with my youngest set to graduate from university next summer, God’s willing, I could easily be their mother.

What I overheard was unsettling. The young women were saying that today’s young men are “misogynists.” I listened carefully to understand how they arrived at that conclusion, and I was disappointed. I made a point of paying attention because the word misogyny is being tossed around so loosely these days. Most of the time, when I hear men labeled misogynists, it’s simply because someone didn’t get their way.

The young ladies in the office noted that young men no longer jump through hoops or act “generously,” and they took that as a sign that men are slowly coming to despise women. I chuckled, because as a mother of two grown sons, those are exactly the kinds of women my husband and I warn our boys to look out for and stay away from. They brag that they can score at least three free lunches just by posting a WhatsApp status, keeping an unsuspecting man on the line like a fish on a hook, with little hope she’ll ever give him any real attention. To give some context, I’ve often heard them count how many lunches, top-ups, tickets, or cash they can seduce out of men with a few sweet words or a flirtatious picture.

I along with another coworker about my age have warned them about this on many occasions. Although some men may be foolish enough to be led on into eternity, others can become quite violent after a while if they feel they are constantly gifting and spending without receiving anything in return. It is a very dangerous game to play, and they often then cry victim to actions they could very much have avoided.

To be clear, misogyny is defined as “a deep-seated prejudice, hatred, hostility, or contempt toward women and girls, ranging from harassment to violence.” I cannot understand how, now that some men are starting to wise-up and refuse to be taken for fools, they are being called misogynists. This reckless labeling is dangerous and seems to be spreading. It isn’t the first time I’ve encountered it. On several occasions, I’ve seen the same language on Facebook, but the justification was thin at best. What is happening to our society?

Just like many other parents, my husband and I have spoken to our girls about some of the young men who think they are slick, only want a quick thrill, and will waste their time, efforts, and energy. However, I don’t hear young men who are turned down calling women “men-haters.” So why is social media teaching them to label our young men?

That afternoon, I picked up one of my daughters from work and asked her what she thought about the whole thing. She looked me straight in the eye and said, “Mommy, you’re late.” That’s the new trend: if we women don’t cosign other women’s “deviant” behavior, they’re labeled a “pick me.” A new term I’ve come to learn that describes a woman who seeks approval, attention, or validation from men by emphasizing how she is “different” from other women in ways that align with stereotypical male preferences. When I asked my daughter for her stance, she laughed and replied, “Mom, you raised me better than that. I fear a lot of these girls today will have some serious regrets in the near future.”

Social media is accelerating the erosion of our shared value systems. These platforms reward quick likes and viral moments that amplify shallow metrics of worth, turning genuine human interaction into a game of points. In this climate, a woman who is no longer treated like a pampered princess by strangers or every random man who shows interest in her is accused of hating women. No longer are our women requiring men to respect them, but rather demanding freebies, and if they are refused, the men are portrayed as hostile toward women. The idea that men aren’t “real men” unless they indulge women is simply masculinity being policed by another name.

As a woman who has been married for nearly forty years, I pray to God that my children and this younger generation as a whole, can find what my husband and I have found; mutual respect, accountability, and love built on substance rather than entitlement. Relationships are not rooted in manipulation or resentment. My hope is that wisdom returns to the center of how we define relationships, before confusion and careless labels destroy our society.

Concerned Wife and Mother